New lizard species: A new lizard species has been found in Satara. The
lizard, Hemidactylus Sataraensis, can’t climb walls or stick to
Sigh. Lucky fucking lizard. Its inability to do normal things in lizard-kind has made the front page news. I wish even my inabilities could be identified and documented with pomp and glee. They can even put me under observation, as long as they feed me and keep discovering newer inabilities. The headlines can read something like:
New Human Species: A new human specimen has been found in mumbai. The Human, Procrastinatus Permanentsis, can't do hard work or concentrate for long periods of time. Dies in extremely competitive environments.