Thursday, March 30, 2006

Which Language Do I Speak?

Today as I was sitting in front of my comp, I was hit by divine knowledge, sort of a revelation, and the ultimate secret to life. Read on to know more.

The question which glared at me from the screen was… which language do I speak? Now, I started thinking to myself (which happens quite often in these soul searching crusades), does it really matter which language I speak? I mean, what is a language. It is a tool for people in a society to communicate amongst themselves. If we consider this definition of a language to be the most basic, then a lot of corollaries can be drawn instantaneously. Like, how many ways ARE there to communicate our emotions?

If we have to smile, we smile. Have to Cry, we cry. How does one smile in English, or how does one cry in Chinese? While we are on the streak of asking such questions, then why not how the hell we fart in Punjabi? The answer to all of these questions is obviously very simple. These everyday quotidian actions do not need a language for communication. They are sooner done than said!

This ultimately brings us to the supreme answer to all of life’s mysteries. The more I think about this solution the more it seems right and perfect. All the languages and cultures in this world are redundant. We are better off without the discrepancies of finer points of converting the meaning of shit from one language to another. We don’t require complexities of advanced society and epicures of modern living.

Magnifying the most basic emotions to a much grander level will solve all of life’s problems. If you are sobbing silently, then bawl like a weeping banshee. Smiling quietly? Burst out into a loud Nordic laughter. This will undermine the need for all other types of communication and world will become a simpler place. In fact, we can go back to being nomads, living in caves and dressing in animal skin. Catching our food alive, and eating it with the same gusto. Living from one moment to another, no worries about bank balance, job security, clean habits, class demarcation.

The best part of course, would be to fuck females until the world is full of 6 billion people. How I envy that time.