Ever Toyed with the idea of suicide?

Sometimes when i am walkin on a busy road, i have this irresistible urge to throw myself in front of a speeding car, and watch specks of my flesh flying about, and ruining at least one persons car, and his day.

I have always wondered about one thing, what is the level of desperation, the last thought, that drives a person to take that fateful step, take the plunge, so to say. Its almost beautiful in conception, something that keeps on bugging you, takes over your mind, your thinking.
We read about it in papers all the time, and its always like, one more suicide...what difference does it make? but think about it, everyone in their lives at least once faces such a situation, where the choices are sparkingly clear: Stay here and suffer, Die and get rid of all the problems, at once. Instant solution, Instant Death, like Instant Coffee, in poor taste.
My reading has taken me once deep into the mind of a person who kills himself, 'A Fine Balance'. A great piece of work, and it drove me towards suicide. why? Its about a boy, perhaps of my age, who broadens his perspective just a little bit early, and a lot wide. The ironical part is, of all the characters, outwardly he was doing the best. Still better than getting amputated or castrated. But that is where the essence lies, His mind drove him towards it, the pressure, everything starts opressing.
Imagine becoming breathless because of the thoughts in your mind, stifling your throat, you instinctively gasp, but it doesnt help. No one around to help you out, or rather, you yourself have stooped too low for anyone to pick you up. And then those train tracks-sulfas pills-quintessential ceiling fan-rat poison start to look inviting, a final treat, a sumptuos meal to mark the end of a troublesome life.
Is it worth it? i can easily say had i been in place of that person i would have waited. i would have hoped... But maybe i thank god, that i am not in his place...
I am still awed, and still want to know, what is the last thought that flashes through a persons mind, before he commits suicide, the very last one.